Retirement Pity Party

Yesterday would have been our 36th wedding anniversary.

So, it is probably no surprise that I had a bit of a pity party for myself this morning as I drove to work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I’m very thankful for it. But after 30 years of working 40-50 hour weeks at one job, plus another 5-10 hours of piano lessons, plus additional part-time jobs, I’m tired.

And with no end in sight (a.k.a. retirement), I’m weary.

It’s Rich’s fault that I have to keep working – that I can’t be a housewife, staying at home to keep my dishes washed, my closets cleaned, and my gardens weeded.

It’s his fault that I wake up to an alarm clock; that I can’t sit on my deck and drink a cup of tea, listening to the birds, rather than thinking “Get going. You have to go to work.”

I blame him.

And so I have to forgive him.

I was feeling so very sorry for myself on the drive into work this morning, praying for God’s strength to make it through another work day when I just wanted to stay home and tackle my home to do list – asking Him to encourage me and take away the sadness, when the song How Can I Keep from Singing began to play:

There is an endless song, echoes in my soul; I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come, I am holding on; To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love.
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing.

I will lift my eyes in the darkest night, for I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You knowing You’ll see me through and sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times; Sing when I win; I can sing when I lose my step and fall down again
I can sing ’cause You pick me up; Sing ’cause You’re there; I can sing ’cause You hear me, Lord when I call to You in prayer.
I can sing with my last breath; sing for I know that I’ll sing with the angels and the saints around the throne.

I needed to hear those words. I am years from retirement, but I can sing while I work.

I can sing.

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is Your love.
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing.

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About Lynnette

A sinner saved by grace, adopted, and now a Child of the Living God. My greatest desire is to please my Heavenly Father in all that I say and do.
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